Saturday, September 15, 2007

An oldie but a goodie...

Ten Things You Will Never Hear at Church

1. Hey! It’s MY turn to sit on the front pew!
2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed that your sermon was over 25 minutes long.
3. Personally, I find volunteering with the Board of Deacons much more enjoyable than golf.
4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used spend on my SUV payment.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
6. Forget the denominational minimum salary: let’s pay our pastor so s/he can live like we do.
7. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!
8. Since we’re all here, let’s start the worship service early!
9. Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Continuing Education seminar in the Bahamas.
10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!


  1. Pastor Peters said...
    what? i'll never hear #9?????? damn.
    Brett said...
    These are great. Number 6 is a killer--I've always wondered what it would be like if the pastor's salary was based on the average income of the members.
    Joy said...
    I'll be happy to suggest #9 but I think you should take a lay person with you. hhhmmm, maybe someone who is involved with children and music. OOOHHH, I will volunteer for that!! :)
    John Shuck said...
    This was so good, I had to post it on my blog, too!

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